The Butterfly Chariot

The expression ‘butterflies in the stomach’ is familiar to all of us.

The first noted use of the expression is in 1908 (relating to a ‘sad feeling’ but its modern sense apparently derives from, paratrooper Bill Gardener, describing how his first training jump in 1943 left him with the feeling “every time I go up”.

As we all know, this is not down to lepidoptera trapped in the digestive tract, but nerves.

There’s an explanation of what’s really going on, physiologically-speaking, in an article from Discover magazine. 

Aside from never wanting to contemplate the term ‘external anal sphincter’ again, the article nailed for me the culprit: adrenaline (though other articles reference norenephrine, dopamine and oxytocin, the ‘bonding peptide’ for their insect cousins: ‘love butterflies’).

When I moved to the south-west of Scotland after 29 years in London to pursue my writing, I was very nervous. I bought a print from my local gallery (featuring an x-ray of a human torso complete with fluttering butterflies) to remind me of that time, the time before.

Moving to the country from the bustle of the city allowed me to decompress and to focus – as I’d never been able to before – on my writing.

Of course, you don’t have to get crazy, sell everything and move to a rural cottage.

If you really want to write, save up and take a sabbatical. Go somewhere peaceful for a few weeks, away from distractions, turn off the phone and TV, flip open your laptop, open a blank page and write whatever comes into your head. Allow yourself to be surprised and delighted by what comes out of you onto the page.

You don’t need a plot or a plan. It’s not about the destination, not at this point. It’s about learning to love the journey.

Harness those butterflies and make ‘em work for you.